If you’re like many people, it’s easy for you to cheer your friends on when they are having a hard time realizing their strengths. You have no problem boosting family members to help them succeed. And you can lay on the praise with coworkers when they are struggling through a project. But what happens in your mind when you are in a rut? Do you treat yourself with the same kindness you treat others?
For many of us, it’s much more difficult to speak kindly to ourselves when we’re struggling. Those feelings of self-doubt and negative voices don’t boost us up, but rather we may mentally be tearing ourselves down. So how can we stop the pattern of negativity and start loving and believing in ourselves? Let’s start with these steps:
- Accept compliments. Think back to the last time someone complimented you. How did you react? And did you allow yourself to revel in the kind words? It can be difficult to accept compliments. We often brush them off, not wanting to be self-absorbed, and counter them with a negative statement. Stop! The next time someone compliments you, don’t dismiss it. Thank the person, take a moment to really hear is being said, and internalize the praise.
- Surround yourself with positive people. We often become like the company we keep, so be sure to choose your social circle carefully. Are you spending time with people who see the good in the world and others, or do you find yourself surrounded by complainers and gossipers? Those who love you should be supportive and uplifting, thus helping you to feel more positive about yourself.
- Connect with a higher power. Spirituality allows us to feel that there is something greater than us, something we can at times relinquish power to. Take a leap of faith and do something you believe in. This will lead to a greater belief in yourself.
- Expect “Nos.” It’s easy to feel like a failure when you encounter the answer of “No.” But you aren’t! Did you know that salespeople count on the word “no” ? They actually expect it, and realize that they have to plug through a certain number of “Nos” before they can reach a “Yes.” Start thinking like a salesperson; expect some “nos,” and recognize that is part of your pathway to success.
- Harness the power of affirmations. I’m a big believer in using affirmations. They are a quick, powerful way to begin changing your belief system. If you are suffering from self-doubt, work some affirmations into your day such as, “I am strong and successful,” or, “I know I can do it.”
- Filter the information you consume. Be mindful of what you are taking in. Negative news and gossipy social media posts fill our heads these days. Be intentional about countering this negativity with inspiration. Seek out uplifting blogs, books and magazines. Join a spiritual group or a book club. You are in control of the information you receive, so feed yourself heaping helpings of positivity.
Self-doubt is something we all struggle with from time to time, but if you find yourself wrestling with this issue, contact me. As a wellness coach, I help my clients realize their full potential and achieve optimal mental, physical and spiritual health. I’d love to walk that journey with you.
A nurse for more than 25 years, Karen David is a Certified Wellness Coach and Lifestyle and Weight Management Specialist. She brings her passion for well living and calm presence to empower others in health and wellness. Karen is CEO of Live Life Well, LLC.
This article is for informational purposes only. Practices, services or products described are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Please speak with a doctor before beginning any new health regimen.