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Self-Focus Is Not Selfish

FocusI hear it all the time from my clients: “I have to take care of everyone else. I don’t have time to take care of me.” “Me time? What’s that? I don’t have an extra moment in the day.” Well I’m here to tell you that it’s important to find those moments and to regularly turn the spotlight on yourself. Focusing on yourself is not selfish — in fact, it’s healthy and necessary to find balance in your life. Let’s talk about “self” with a capital “S.”


Self-awareness means you are in touch with yourself — with your feelings, your actions, your desires. Having a clear perception of who you are, your strengths and weaknesses and your beliefs, allows you to understand how others perceive you and helps you understand others’ reactions, as well.

The more you develop your self-awareness, the better you are able to direct your own path and adjust your thoughts and actions to align with your goals. It’s an important part of our emotional intelligence and plays a key role in achieving personal success.

How can you develop stronger self-awareness? Practicing mindfulness is a great step. The more we focus on and analyze our personal actions and reactions, the better able we are to steer our lives. It’s a very eye-opening process.

Self-Worth and Self-Confidence

Two more areas worthy of our attention are our self-confidence and self-worth. How much do you believe in yourself and your abilities? Many of us have past experiences that affect our sense of self-worth and our confidence. We need confidence to start new ventures and take new paths. We need to believe that we are worthy of good things and positive relationships.

Though it certainly takes time, you can improve your self-confidence and feelings of self-worth. Working through your issues with a coach or counselor can help you increase your positive feelings about yourself. Make a list of your strengths and post it on your bathroom mirror to start your day with positive thoughts about yourself. Eat good food to care for your body, because you matter. Do more of what you love and feel comfortable doing it.


The last piece of “self” I want to focus on is self-accountability. You can put all kinds of wonderful new habits into practice in your life, but without accountability to self, you won’t see much growth. Personal accountability means being able to take ownership of your actions and the things that occur in your life. It can be much easier to blame others or point at your circumstances. If you have a strong sense of accountability, people are more likely to trust you, to follow your lead and to form positive relationships with you.

To increase your personal accountability, set clear goals and expectations for yourself. It’s important to know your roles and to be honest with yourself; tune into your thoughts and feelings and ask for help when you need it. Don’t overcommit.

If you could use some focus on “self,” contact me, Karen David, to set up a session. I would love to help you tune into yourself and help you soar.

A nurse for more than 25 years, Karen David is a Certified Wellness Coach and Lifestyle and Weight Management Specialist. She brings her passion for well living and calm presence to empower others in health and wellness. Karen is CEO of Live Life Well, LLC.

This article is for informational purposes only. Practices, services or products described are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Please speak with a doctor before beginning any new health regimen.

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